one year and a box of chocolate

i’ve been living on my own, 400 miles or so away from home, for already a year. that is: 5 months of painstaking review, 3 months of idle (mentally-draining) time, and 4 months of financial independence. 12 months have gone, and goodness!, i’m still alive—even writing, and telling how the year have educated me, a lot.

how short a time it is to capsulate 4 years of college into a 5-month review, in exile at that. it may appear short, but i tell you, it was a long, non-stop journey. imagine. you are miles away from and you settle yourself in a room of 8 other homo sapiens totally different from you. you force yourself to eat food you have never longed for. you permanently engrave in your mind to wake up early in the morning and go to bed late. you basically revolve your life on the books you’ve read, the quizzers you’ve been frustratingly trying to solve and the big question you’ve been most bothered of—“what if i don’t pass?”. you have nowhere else to go, no other worthy remedy but to just hang on there, and wishfully not lose your sanity.

and thank God, mine was intact. my prayers were answered. i’ve got what i have eagerly wanted. i passed my exams and thought everything will go smoothly after—or so it seems. for the next 3 months i was tortured by boredom, some feeling of uselessness, and insecurity. well, until i found my job- until i realized that it was all worth the wait, after all.

now, i’m trying to learn how to live independently and have been patiently practicing for the past four months. looking back, i laugh at myself… for still not knowing how to cook simple rice and real (not canned) food, for still not handwashing my undergarments (mind you, the washing machine is such a helpful invention), for still borrowing money from mama if I ran out of cash, for still requesting from home to send me stuffs-food, groceries, clothes etc., for still being childish and always feeling lonesome…

anyway, i could not have survived the past year without my housemates (you see, i was paid to say this!). 10 of them during the first five months of my ordeal with my so-called independence… and 5 of them remaining (strong, patient and still standing) in our apartment now. even though for the entire year i was emotionally, spiritually, and mentally battered (or even raped, as i always complain…hehehe) by them, i had always felt happy and secure with their company. i had always felt babied, spoiled –something that i was very used to back in bacolod (the very reason why i can’t be totally independent, so blame it to them just as well… hehehe). and i’m perpetually praying for them to receive more and more patience, just as i am afraid that they might grew tired and irate of me someday. hehehe.

for the past year l have realized and learned so many things. learning and experiences i could not even materialize into words. as i know (and think) of now, the key(s) to a healthy relationship boils back to the basics: extra-patience, understanding, being open to compromise, acceptance and most importantly—the gift of prayer. well, hopefully this formula works in the long-run—that i have to uncover in the coming months or even years of staying with them (years?—are you kidding!?! well, who knows…hehe) after all, life is a big test.

and just like a box of chocolate, we’ll never know what we’ll gonna get…

until we really get them.