ready for the big thing?

i'm halfway through march and wasn't really able to realize it until i noticed that my last update was already two weeks ago. whew!

blame it to work. blame it to the piling paper documentation i need to update and submit. blame it to the numerous deadlines. blame it to my boss' boss who came all the way from singapore to aid us in preparing for our internal audit next month. yup, next month... so blame it to the short notice of the international auditors just as well. blame it to the fact that i have to literally stop all my supposed-to-do's this quarter to pave the way for the audit.

on the other side, probably it is just about time to prove my worth in this company--to my boss especially (for beleiving in me). call it my self-imposed pressure. the game plan: to be able to accomplish my job assignments efficiently and effectively given time constraints. how? hmmm... clueless. and that's what i'm about to uncover.

meanwhile, i just think (and my gut feel tells me so) i am ready for this.
or maybe i'm just wishful thinking.
anyway, good luck to me.
(=

tis the season to be fasting

i felt a little bit guilty yesterday. for the catholics, ash wednesday meant to sacrifice, to fast, to skip meals, to eat less, to take no meat at all. and i was about to begin a task that i will do for the first time in my life... to be a conscious catholic this lenten season -- to follow what catholics normally do during this day--to fast. the priest advised to just take one full meal and eat less during the other meals. i was happy with that. so for breakfast, i ate egg sandwhich. for lunch, i ate a full meal of rice and chopseuy with chicken. therefore, dinner meant lesser food intake. i thought of eating fresh eggs or sardines only. that would suffice the hunger, i thought. so i went home. but it just so happen that i passed by aling lucing's sizzlers--known for its yummy sisig. with salivating pictures on its glass window, tell me--who am i refuse this craving and starving stomach? tell me! tell me!

after minutes of having second (guilty) thoughts, i end up going home with a supot of meal no. 2--sisig with chicken. i ate with gusto. and i loved it! but i felt guilty. so, to compromise my feeling of guilt, i vowed that next year, i shall continue my promise! oh well...

...and unto dust you shall return

today, ash wednesday, we remind ourselves through the ashes we put in our foreheads that "from dust we came and unto dust we shall return."

dying. just the mere thought of it makes me feel sad, afraid. at 21, gee!, there are lots of things i still ought to do in my life! to explore the world with my family, to gain a network of friends, to inspire, to teach, to share my blessings, to write, to read, to listen, to see my future nephews and nieces, to be successful, to be rich, to spend more, to be good, to enjoy the best things in life.

these things we can never bring with us in our deathbeds. these things we can only leave to others, share to others, express to others, do with others while we exist. through these things we give impact to lives. and like a domino, it affects just the others as well.

but ours is a borrowed life. soon, it shall come. death shall face us or the other way around. we shall succumb to the fact that life is short, after all. so for now, while some of our dreams remain unfulfilled, while some of our ambitions remain unrealized, and while we still breath air, we continue to thrive for existence. to exist not just for ourselves, but to exist for others as well, taking it just one day at a time. and we shall realize soon, when we reach heaven, how many people we have blest, how beautiful life truly is.