inside/outside

do you have to be out there to be happy?
to push your self outside, to explore and discover what is real and what is only layered by denial?
do you have to conform according to their norms?
to be as expressive as they are, even if you are unsure that being expressive is you?
do you have to enjoy things that they do, even play games that they enjoy?
else, you won’t be happy, you won’t even grow, you won't be freed?
do you really have to go out to find you?
where you could just stay inside, be secure with how you feel, how you tell your stories to the world
do you really have to plunge yourself outside?

more than the fear that is disturbing
more than self-doubt
more than failing expectations
more than what could happen and what could not
i opt to stay here for awhile
to stay inside, in my own little world, in my own little space and time
inside where i am also free, where i can be happy
inside where i know i could find me
in the deepest of my heart